My mother died in October 2018, and I already have a post raising money for her hospital expenses here.
But I left something out of this post and its continuations.
My older sister has been severely physically, mentally, socially and medically abusive to me almost my entire life. She has caused me deep, psychological trauma that I will never be able to fully recover from.
When my mother died, my sister promised she would make the effort to change herself into a better person.
She, of course, lied to me.
I am not safe here.
-She often physically attacks me and berates me for every little thing I do or say.
-She gaslights me constantly, making me question my own perception of realitly, even though I know i’m right.
-She digs through any packages or mail that I receive,
-She forces me to work through physical and emotional exhaustion and demands I respond to her every beck and call. Often attacking me if I refuse.
-She completely stopped buying groceries for the house. Instead, she only feeds herself and her husband, leaving me to starve.
-She refuses to allow me to learn how to drive, forcing me to stay reliant on her and her husband as well as refusing to take me anywhere to get the things I need (like a learners permit or food.)
-She has stolen the house from me. My momma promised that I would receive this house when she died but my sister stole it and now holds the ability to kick me out and make me homeless.
-She refuses to put me on her insurance even though shes claiming me as a dependent, so if I ever get hurt or sick, i’d definitely plunge myself into debt
-She isolates me and forces me to stay locked in my room as she doesn’t want to look at me.
-She has multiple times threatened to take away my ability to access the internet (which I need to access college-work as well as any form of escape from her abuse.)
-She removed the heater from my room. Our house does not have proper insulation and it gets well under 30 degrees in here in winter.
-She talks bad about me in public, therefore making me look like a waste of space in the public eye.
This is only a few examples of her abuse.
I am Autistic and I have Anxiety, Depression, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I am also nearly legally blind with a permanently dislocated left arm and a bad case of asthma.
The reason I say this, is because my sister is also severely ableist and almost every conversation I have with her usually ends with her demeaning me about my multiple disabilities or just flat out calling me the r-slur.
I am not safe here.
But I do have a plan to escape.
In two years time I will graduate from my college, allowing me the opportunity to escape from her abuse. My best friend and the platonic love of my life @transscourge has offered me the opportunity to live with him.
This is not out of the blue either.
My living with him is, and always has been, both of our end-game plans.
However, he lives in Oklahoma and I live in Louisiana, and even if/when I learn how to drive the car that I now own, it will never be able to make that big of a trip.
I have a job with my college, but i’m only allowed to work 17 hours a week receiving $7.25 an hour.
This is not enough. Most of it goes to my own tuition and the things I need to survive.
Which is why I need your help to pull this off.
I am 20 years old and will turn 21 in March 2019.
If all goes well, I will graduate in the fall of 2020.
I have two years to raise enough money to do the following:
-Buy new copies of my social security card and birth certificate as my sister has made mine inaccessible as well as a learners permit so I may legally learn how to drive. (there is no public transport where I live. This is imperative.)
-Finally receive the official papers for my autism diagnosis as well as legally confirming my other
disabilities so I may try to apply for
disability
benefits.
-Pay 300 dollars to the driving school so I canLearn how to drive.
-Buy proper winter clothing as I don’t own any as a Louisianian.
-Raise enough money to either take a train all the way to Oklahoma or rent a U-Haul and drive there. or repair my mother’s 17 year old car enough so that it will actually survive the trip in the first place…
I desperately need your help to be able to pull this off.
why caffeine works for some of us, but not all, and even then it often depends on the way you take it and the dosage
how come all of us have gastrointestinal problems?
addendum to the above: what exactly are our gastrointestinal problems? are we genetically more likely to have autism be comorbid with gluten sensitivity/colitis/IBS/lactose intolerance/whatever else or is it something completely different? is it psychosomatic? the fuck
okay but how does being sensory-seeking work. and what does stimming do to your brain. what neurological function are we facilitating with flapping hands and rocking back and forth and spinning? wouldn’t it be great if we had a serious long-term study of the brain on stimming?
are you more likely to be autistic and LGBT?
what are things we do better than neurotypicals?
but no it’s always “how do we train the animals to be something they’re not” or “but what made you this way??” or “Time To Find A Cure”
why do we all have sleep disorders
what’s up with the joint problems
and the faceblindness
what are the communication patterns here? how come I can meet one autistic person and immediately grok how they communicate, and be confused by another, but all neurotypicals are confusing? what’s going on with that?
how much of what we currently recognise as ‘autistic symptoms’ are actually ptsd symptoms? or autistic ptsd symptoms?
ALL. OF. THIS.
OK, so I decided to check out which of these had been researched and what they found.
Caffeine - not much, but this study looks interesting. It suggests that if you’re not a regular caffeine consumer, caffeine might temporarily make you act less autistic.
Oh, hey, this study has a potential answer to both caffeine response and sleep problems! There’s apparently an enzyme that affects both caffeine and melatonin metabolism.
GI issues - this study didn’t find a link. The rate of GI issues was 9% for both autistic and NT children. The most common GI issues for both groups were food intolerance, usually lactose intolerance.
This study found a much higher prevalence of GI issues in autistic kids (17%), although they didn’t compare them with NTs. They also suggest that there may be a link between regression and GI issues, and confirm yet again that the MMR vaccine has nothing to do with autism. The most common GI issue they found was constipation, followed by diarrhea and food allergies.
This study compared GI issues between autistic kids and NT siblings. They found that 83% of the autistic sample and 28% of their siblings had at least one possibly-GI-related symptom. They also give data on specific GI symptoms, such as gaseousness (54% of autistics and 19% of siblings), abdominal discomfort (44% of autistics and 9% of siblings), and so forth. They found 20% of autistics and 2% of siblings had three or more poops per day, 32% of autistics and 2% of siblings had consistently watery poops, and 23% of autistics and none of their siblings had large changes in consistency. Also, apparently parents felt that 49% of the autistics and none of the siblings had particularly foul-smelling poops. And another for the sleep question - this study found 51% of autistics and 7% of siblings had sleep problems, with sleep problems being more common in autistic kids with GI issues.
Stimming and Sensory-Seeking - I couldn’t find much. This study I found is interesting, but it’s about more OCD-like compulsions, not actually stimming.
Oh, here’s something. A big detailed review of neurophysiological findings of sensory processing in autism.
LGBT - I’ve written up stuff about this elsewhere, but in short, autistic people, especially AFAB autistics, are definitely more likely to be asexual, bisexual, kinky and trans. Some relevant studies here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, and there’s plenty more to be found.
Autistic Strengths - Well, Laurent Mottron and his team, including autistic rights advocate Michelle Dawson, have done a lot of research on what they term ‘enhanced perceptual functioning’, which they theorize explains the Block Design peak sometimes seen in autistic people. (Block Design is one of the subtests of the Weschler’s IQ test, and autistic people often show a relative strength on this test relative to other subtests on this test.) In general, I highly recommend looking at their research. It really shows what can happen when an autistic person gets involved in autism research.
This study by a different research team finds that children gifted in realistic still-life drawing have higher rates of repetitive behavior typical of autism (though none of their sample were actually autistic), and show similar visuospatial profiles to autistic kids.
This study finds that perfect pitch is associated with autistic traits. On the AQ, musicians with perfect pitch scored higher on the imagination and attention-switching subscales than musicians without perfect pitch and non-musicians. This study found a subset of autistic kids have extremely good pitch perception, with no relationship to musical training.
People in STEM fields are more likely to be autistic or have autistic relatives, especially mathematicians. (Which probably comes as no surprise to anyone who’s spent time in the math department of any university.) This study also finds that autistic kids tend to be better at math.
Sleep - as a couple studies above mentioned, sleep issues in autism could be related to melatonin metabolism or GI issues. This study found that 53% of autistic kids, 46% of kids with intellectual disabilities and 32% of NT kids have sleep problems. Autistic kids are both slower to fall asleep and more likely to wake up early than NT kids.
This study found a correlation between autistic traits and sleep problems in autistic kids. Repetitive behavior is related with being slower to get to sleep and not getting as many hours of sleep per night; communication problems are related to being slower to get to sleep, not getting as much sleep, and parasomnias (night terrors, restless leg syndrome, etc); and social differences are related to being slower to get to sleep, not getting as much sleep, waking up at night, parasomnias and breathing problems while sleeping.
This study found a strong correlation between sleep problems and sensory hypersensitivity among autistic kids. And this study found that autistic and/or intellectually disabled kids showed strong correlations between poor sleep, anxiety and behavior problems.
And this study found that 67.9% of autistic kids have sleep problems, and parents of kids with sleep problems were under more stress. Boys and younger children had more sleep problems.
Joint problems - This study found that people with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a connective tissue disorder that causes joint hypermobility, were more likely to be autistic. (And also to have mood disorders and attempt suicide.)
This study suggests that people with joint hypermobility have larger amygdala and various other brain structural differences, which was correlated with anxiety and higher sensitivity to internal body sensations. And this study found that 31.5% of people with ADHD and 13.9% of NTs have benign joint hypermobility syndrome.
Faceblindness - This study confirms that prosopagnosia (faceblindness) is more common among autistic people, with 67% having some degree of facial recognition difficulties.
This study reviews three theories about why autistic people have prosopagnosia, and concludes that the most likely of the three theories is the idea that avoiding eye contact impairs face recognition.
This study found that autistic people are slower to notice faces in scenes, and pay less attention to faces.
The last two questions I’m not really sure where to start.
@candidlyautistic here have the studies cited for when ppl ask them from you again
Glad to see this coming around again with citations!
on the 17th, log off of tumblr. ill be offline too. just for a week, stay offline. we need to prove a point to staff. please reblog this.
I have a bad feeling that tumblr’s censorship will become another way to target LGBT+ content and creators. YT was the first platform to have widespread problems, and may have been the first proverbial lemming to jump off the cliff. Now others will follow unless there’s pushback.
From Monday the 17th to Sunday the 23rd this month, I’ll be staying away from here. In addition to making a protest statement, this will give me time to ground myself before and during the final round of holiday drama that inevitably comes with being part of the LGBT+ community. If you need someone to talk to, you can find me on my other pages, but regardless please consider taking part in this hiatus. This matters.
the grinch being in all these stupid advertisements contradicts the anti-consumerist nature of the grinch himself. the reason he hated christmas was because he thought the holiday was simply an expression of vain materialism. the grinch only loved christmas after he realized that christmas wasn’t actually about mundane consumption, but the selfless love of community. in this essay i will-
